People are very vulnerable that way. The moment your prediction comes true, they assign a Godly title to you. They think your words have power, and they forget to analyze that it was their own destiny that was told looking into their horoscope. The progression goes this way –

First - once the prediction comes true, they think an astrologer is always right
Second - they think that all that an astrologer would say will come true
Third – they would want an astrologer to say what they want to hear
Fourth - they would stop asking predictions, and ask only for the blessings

After the 4th stage, the astrologer is so overwhelmed with people’s reaction that he loses his focus and also his path. He stops predicting, and enjoys his Guruhood. Now he keeps blessing people, and people start taking blessings for anything and everything – to make a killing at the stock market, to win the elections, to get cleared of court cases, to get saved from corruption charges, to escape murder charges and what not.

In my personal experience with spirituality and meeting with saintly people and Gurus - I have discovered one important thing that – none can be anyone’s Guru. Your life is your individual journey, and you have to travel through it all alone.

Making someone a Guru is the easiest escape route. You can pour all your worries and psychic garbage on Satya Sai Baba or Sri Sri Ravi Shankar or Juggi Vasudev, and sit at home watching TV thinking your Guru will clean all the shit you splattered in your bathroom. Remember - it is your bathroom and you have to clean it - and there is no escape!

In my case if my prediction has come true for you – it simply means that God has helped you through me. And if my prediction has not come true – it simply means that God has fucked you through me.

Here is an interesting incident. After consulting me once, one of my lady clients wanted me to be her Guru. I said, no. And she insisted. I said fine - reluctantly. On her visit the US she caught me online on Yahoo Messenger . She asked me, Guruji you want something from the US? And I said, get me some sex toys. And that was the last day she called me a Guru.

Most people think that saints are ones who never think or talk about sex. If that were the case all the impotent men, eunuchs and men with erectile dysfunction would have been spiritual Gurus.

I drink and I watch porn - it is just that I prefer God to all those things. So henceforth address me just as Kennedi or Kenni, because I am not anyone’s Guru.

I insisted that she should consult my teacher for some predictions and fruitful advice. She finally agreed. I think I was trying to be too good too. I said I will pay him today, you consult him today, and you can pay me later. She agreed to this too (now I wonder who would disagree to this offer?). I made the payment, she consulted, and she stopped chatting with me. And I lost few bucks in the process.

I was traveling a couple of weeks back by train, and I noticed a teenager (guy) struggling to handle his luggage. I offered my help, and in a furious tone he replied, “uncle don’t bother, I will manage.” Something flashed in my mind immediately - you should not help people until and unless they ask for. I would stick to it from now…

I have many clients for whom my predictions have worked on dot. And for few, it has gone completely haywire – it is all in the divine plan. God has his own way to deal with astrologers and also people who seek astrologer’s guidance.

It is an automatic process that people who get benefited by me try to help others. The problem arises when they promote and don’t refer – and there is a mild difference.

All have problems in lives and all want to share it with someone close. Also all want to find the reasons and solution for their problems. And here is the irony - not all who have problems in life believe in astrology, and not all who believe in astrology consult astrologers, and not all who consult astrologers wants to pay. The last one is the dangerous most. You can lose money in dealing with them - like I did a couple of years back.

So what am I asking you to do? Try not to talk about me to anyone, and don’t tell anyone I exist. If you think I am a good astrologer, keep it yourself. If you think I am a bad astrologer – I can’t hold you back from damaging my name – you have the full freedom to do so. If you think someone really needs some serious consultation – ask him or her to directly get in touch with me – either by mail or phone. Don’t take too many steps to help him/her. For I have seen a funny pattern that people who have found me with their own effort have benefited more from me than people who have been referred to me.

There are people who tell me it ain’t Amitabh who is keying in the content of his blog. But I am sure he does, because it sounds very Amitabh, and I feel very close to my all time hero whenever I read it.

I have been noticing a strange thing about his blog especially the timing at which it gets updated - some times at 3 am and sometimes at 12 mid night. I am astonished to know that he blogs amidst his busy schedule. And what is his schedule like? Morning he is in Chennai, evening he is in Mumbai to catch a flight to Bangkok in the night. He has 42 interviews lined up, he has few press meets, he has to talk patiently with a woman like Burka Dutta, he has to address a celebrity music release, and on top of that he has to attend to his call sheets!

In fact ‘I’ got tired reading about his plans for the day. At 33 I cannot attend to more than 5 clients a day, and at 68 Amitabh is whirling like a magic wand.

I wonder how would it feel when you are a celebrity. When you walk, all stare at you. And when you talk, you are reported wrongly. I am sure it would be a great feeling initially, but could become highly irritating after a while. Or is it my ‘grapes are sour’ feelings getting reflected here?

Few weird comments that were posted by few ‘nobodies’ on Amitabh’s blog

*I have been blogging for 2 years now, and I got only 10,000 comments. And you started just a couple of weeks back, and you are getting impressive number of comments. Not a bad start.

Huh – how can people get so cheap?

*I visited your blog, have put a comment. Here is my address http://……….com. Please visit and leave a comment

Now this bugger thinks he is Dharmendra!

*You should keep your cool and ignore what the press feels about you.

This choot thinks he is agony uncle. And wants to advice Amitabh about what he should do, and how he should live his life.

I learnt two important things after reading AB’s blog. One – that Amitabh is a great human being, and second that most of his educated fans who post comments are dumb!

But for the people’s comment Amitabh’s blog rocks!

June 2008 isn’t over as yet hence my prediction has more time to come true. I cannot do anything, if the client hurries for the prediction to manifest faster. I am not God. Even God takes time to give you what you need. He doesn’t make you run, when you are born. And he doesn’t give you a baby the next day after your marriage.

I always kept replying to her, as I never wanted to make her feel bad. And also I don’t charge extra money for my time like most other astrologers do. I am always good to sincere seekers, but would hate if someone wants to act smart or take me for granted.

Suddenly today, she asked me to check her bhukti and antaras once again so that she might have luck to get a job earlier. On top that she said – she knows astrology, and she just wanted a second opinion from me.

Who am I to hate people who know astrology? And who am I to feel bad if someone else knows astrology? But my concern is simple – if you know astrology, then don’t try to teach other astrologer about what you know. Astrological discussion is healthy. I agree. But it is different from astrological consultation. You pay and seek other astrologer’s help, because you are unable to decipher your problem – so better to consult him with a blank mind and mouth shut. In fact the astrologer is least interested to know or understand about what you have gained after reading few books on astrology available at the railway station, which you bought just before catching the train.

The result of this incident - I blocked her on Yahoo messenger, and thought about putting up some rules you can follow when you want to consult me.

I mention them in your report but then I don’t discuss astrological rules and astrological jargons with anyone. The day will come, when I might pass on everything I know to someone who deserves. Hence kindly don’t try to let me know about how much astrology you know. It pisses me off completely.

You need not consult me if you are an astrologer yourself. If you still want to consult me – ask just plain questions – nothing more and nothing less.

*Third

I am online on yahoo messenger the whole day to help people. Don’t think I am online because I don’t have anything else to do in life. (This rule isn’t for friends, but ONLY for strangers).

*Fourth

Never ask me – so Kennedi, how will be my day today? I will block you immediately.

*Fifth

If you already are my client, and need some clarification – always mail me at kennedig@yahoo.com. It is easier for me that way.

*Sixth

You might be rich. You might be a celebrity. You might be running a multi crore business. You could be an MD, VP, CEO, COO. And you could be a NRI too. But for me you are just a client. My charges are same for you and also a local auto driver. So better try not to throw your attitude.

*Seventh

I will respect you, only if you respect my profession and me first.

*Eight

I am neither a Marwadi, nor do I think I am running a business. So please keep the ‘fee’ part clear and clean and kindly don’t bargain. BSNL doesn’t give me free Internet connection, my landlord doesn’t give me free place to live, and the grocery guy never reduces the VAT - just because I am an astrologer.

*Ninth

Value my time and effort, and I will value yours always.

New rules will be added as and when I have new experiences.

The doctor asked me few questions, and prescribed me few tablets. I took the tablets for a couple of days, and I was out of pain completely. The tablet really worked. And it almost 8 years now, and I never got the pain again. In fact this incident taught me an important lesson of life. I surely didn’t learn that the Indian government & its system are good and that our doctors are the best under the sun. But the lesson I learnt was – “in life never think that quality ‘always’ comes at a higher price,” – it can come to you at cheaper rate too. And glamour necessarily doesn’t work all the time.

I have many clients who come to me, and go very dejected and disappointed. Not because I fail to find their life patterns right, or could not predict events for them. They become unhappy because I tell them the truth about their lives, and make them understand about their limitations. I neither give them false hopes, nor put any attempt to make them feel better. May be I am the only person into business who thinks – customer satisfaction as my last priority!

Few people come to me thinking - I will ask them to perform some expensive pujas, or ask them to wear some expensive gems and promise them of clearing all the problems they are facing now. If I could do that, I will perform all the available pujas on myself, and become the US president first!

I always thought people never wanted to get cheated. But then there are people who still think that until and unless they are made to spend good amount of money on pujas and remedial measures – there is no point in going in for astrology or consulting an astrologer. They always want some glamour in whatever they do.

After all the glamour and money is over they complain to all the remaining astrologers about what all they have done, and how things really didn’t work. And these people are the lot who go ahead one step ahead of putting down astrology and astrologers – calling them fake.

The rule of life is – you cannot stop good things coming into your life. Similarly you cannot stop bad things coming into your life. They are after all 2 sides of the same coin! Hence don’t fall for glamour - you might miss the bitter truth in the process!

Well this match happened just yesterday. Out of the guys only I was 33 years old, and rest of the boys were less than 15 or just 15 years old!

This match reminded me of a thought-provoking lesson we had in our Marathi syllabus during our school days. The name of the lesson was ‘Porkhel’ - which means (por) Kid’s (Khel) Play. It was a beautiful lesson where the author while coming back from office, instead of going home directly, stops to watch a street cricket match. He gets so engrossed in the match that he is left clueless about who spat chewed pan on his shirt! He feels a lot confused, and starts thinking whether what he did was right or wrong. He explains how important ‘porkhel’ is in human life sighting few interesting examples too.

We are so busy in our jobs that we hardly have the time to play. We have become stern, tight and lifeless. We work all through the week to rest at home on weekends. We take huge home loans – and never stay there. We have credit cards, and half the times worry about repayments. We have investments in insurance plans – which comes back only to pay our hospital bills in oldage.

The rich are members of elite clubs and play all through the day, as they have others who work for them. The poor have their own way of enjoying life. The sufferers are the poor middleclass who aspire to become rich – someday, and in the process MISS the life completely!

When young I had energy, people and place to play – but never had the money to buy cricket accessories. Today I have the energy, place to place and also the money for accessories – but there are no people around to play. And tomorrow – I will have people around to play, I will have the money for accessories, I might have place to play also – but no energy to play!

So let us team up, and at least play on weekends to start with!

*I don’t have a proper job - I want to commit suicide
*I don’t look good – I want to commit suicide
*My wife isn’t supportive – I want to commit suicide
*There is a dark permanent mark on my elbow – I want to commit suicide

And the poor guy kept repeating the same sentence - just talk to people, friends and relatives around you, and you will feel better. If nothing helps, reach our office for some counseling. After a while he stopped dictating, and I kept typing.

The thought of committing suicide comes to each and every one of us. But who has the guts to do it is a different story altogether. Rajini Kanth wanted to commit suicide once, and even I was hovering around with a strip of sleeping tablets in my pocket when I was 21. I had a good lunch, felt better, and threw the strip – and I am still alive.

I have noticed a strange phenomenon that people who ‘think’ about ending their lives never commit suicide. Suicide happens in a ‘thoughtless’ state of mind, when you indeed are running a very bad period astrologically. It isn’t true that only cowards commit suicides, or depressed people commit suicide – I have seen people with impressive confidence levels ending their lives in spur of a moment.

One of my aunts was a very dominating, aggressive and a confident person. People would have agreed if they she had killed someone, but they could not digest that she ended her life instead. She never had any plans to commit suicide. And there was no reason either. Another aunt of mine had delivered a child just that particular day, and this aunt visited her in the hospital, and came back home with a promise that she will come with the lunch. She went home, had a small fight with her husband, and got herself charred through self-immolation.

In another incident my mother in law (MIL) and her neighbour had planned to go for a movie once. She collected the money from my MIL and went to the theatre to get the tickets. It was getting late, and that lady never came back. My MIL went to her house to check, and she was hanging under the fan with tickets in her hands! My MIL was carrying then, and had a miscarriage at her 6th month of pregnancy.

There is another cadre where in people just try to make someone understand that they are capable of committing suicide, while they really don’t want to. And sometimes they just want to try committing suicide for the heck of it. These are the people who are the dangerous lot, where in they escape few attempts accidentally, and die when they really don’t want to. They get saved when they are running a good time, and their effort backfires mostly the 3rd time, when they least expect it.

So can you save someone from committing suicide? Not really. Statistics say – every 5 minutes, someone, somewhere in India attempts suicide, making suicide, the third major cause of death. And nothing can be done about it.

And the people who torture you with their depression, problems, and their idea of putting an end to their lives – allow them. Don’t waste your time in making them understand the futility of death, instead help them with the best possible way to commit suicide. Take my word – they will never take a step forward. And never ever think that you can save someone from dying. People won’t die when the time hasn’t come, and none can save them when the time has come. It is all in the divine plan!

*Software major Oracle has pared down annual salary hikes.
*IBM – cuts down employee perks, and withdraws fringe benefits offered to its middle management - which included free-housing facility.
*Wipro – likely to go for an 8-10 % hike this year against 12-13 % in 2007-2008.
*Infosys – offshore employees will get an 11-13 % wage hike this year, compared to 12-15 % last year. (Source – The Economic Times, dated 25th, April, 2008)

Now the million-dollar question is - will American recession affect ‘YOU’ personally? And the million-dollar answer is - it completely depends upon your individual horoscope. Might sound funny, but it is true….

Well here is an example. Tiruppur, the place I was born, grew as the largest exporter of knitted garments 2 decades ago. Few people worked towards it and made it big. And when their success stories spread all around, all the rich people in and around Tiruppur pounced into the business. It resulted in 5 companies every single street. Producing garment became a cottage industry, and even housewives were seen contributing immensely to the industry.

It grew very fast, and the recession followed. Many companies were shut down, and people thought it was all over - but ‘no.’ Tiruppur even today is an international hub for knitted garment. What is the reason? Why didn’t recession put an end to all the companies? The answer is - in times of economic troubles – people running bad times are wiped off automatically, and people running a good time astrologically keep doing well in spite of dreadful external factors!

So if you want to know whether you are running a good time or a bad time, whether you will lose your job or prosper, or you will come back to India or fly abroad – consult a good astrologer.

The star in the first line of the blog isn’t ‘Conditions Apply’ but….

*I mentioned that particular term deliberately for people who still think that India is developing. It is simple logic that no country would develop, whose natural resources aren’t strong, and whose export revenue isn’t bigger than import revenues. And no country will ever develop whose salary structure depends upon other country’s economy.

PS – while writing this particular blog, I got a call from one of my clients (an ex-Expressite), who mentioned that The Indian Express Group (South Edition) does a horoscope reading of the probable candidate before recruiting them. They have a panel of astrologers who would say whether the candidate would bring good luck to the company or not. Dear readers – please keep it a secret!

On to my blog now…

I participated in one of the Internet surveys, and was astonished to find the fact that that most people who browse porn sites regularly are very religious in nature! It is a ratio that is directly proportional to each other – the more the sexual you are, more the religious you will be, and more the religious you are, more the sexual you will become!

I always had this doubt about the possibility of total ‘celibacy’. And also will total celibacy really lead you to enlightenment? I have tried all the possible techniques - from mantras to tantras. And the revelation was – if you are a normal human being with normal erection, with normal semen counts, and with normal dietary discipline – you cannot live without sex, or without letting the semen out for more than 3 months at a stretch! After that you either will have sex, or you would masturbate or it will flow out automatically in your wet dreams!

I have come across a lot of content where they speak about transforming sexual energy to spiritual energy. It surely is possible – but nothing can be done about the physical form of semen. It will come out – either you wish or you don’t wish. May be you can transform your sexual thoughts into divine – possible. But nothing can be done to evaporate the liquid – it will keep flowing down. Not only me – I have spoken about this to many saints – and they agreed to what I said.

Recently I happened to meet a saint in Chennai. He isn’t that famous as of now, but will become big soon. Hence mentioning his name won’t help much. He is one of those saints who speak to Shirdi Sai Baba everyday. Also he is one of those saints who has seen, touched and spoken to God in physical form. After my 3-hour long chat with this unmarried saint, I asked him, so what do you do for sex? He replied coolly – like we eat when we are hungry, so is our sexual needs. It flows out when it wants.

I read about another incident where our own Swami Vivekananda put his penis on a burning hot rod to get rid of his erection. But his teacher said, you need not do that. Sex is both a psychological need and a bodily need. So don’t worry too much. Just think more about God and less about women & sex– your problem will be solved.

I dropped my sister and her children at the bus stand, as they wanted to go somewhere else. And my 5-year-old daughter and myself went to the nearby police station. I could have very well left my daughter at home before going to the police station. But then I wanted her to learn the sick Indian system at this early age, so that - like many of us – she doesn’t start having faith and belief in this non-performing hypocritical Indian system and society.

As usual the officers there looked at me with the maximum lethargy a human form can ever reach. I explained them what really happened. This police station is just 2 kms away from where the incident happened. But he said – it doesn’t come under our jurisdiction. And asked me to contact another police station, which is was 5 kms away. I knew the music has already begun.

I filled petrol and reached the other police station. The energy was better than the previous one. I explained the new police about the real incident. He asked, was there any damage to your car. I said no. Even if there was, that is not my concern. My concern was that fu**** hit me deliberately. He said, he understands my stand, but I should not give complaint like that. He referred me to the RTO department now saying, tell them a taxi driver hit my car, the damage is high, and he didn’t stop after hitting.

I reached the RTO office now. I explained the 3rd person about the incident. And he asked, was there any damage. I said no. He replied,” then it is law and order case. You need to go where you came from.” Now I understood why the 2nd guy told me about serious damage part. They all have one thing in common – they don’t want to register a case. May be because it involves a lot of work for them.

The RTO SI was trying to be friendly to me now. I explained to him - that I am not here to claim any insurance but to do my duty as a citizen. I don’t want any crime to go unseen or unheard. He was getting a bit spiritual now. He said, “if he has done a mistake - God will punish him.” He also added that, “you have wasted your time, petrol, money and effort to get into this (I knew that from the very beginning). You could have very well gone home.” I really admired his guts to say such an enlightening statement. I never knew that if God was there to punish the criminals, why were these khakhi-clad jokers given salaries? Why am I forced to pay Rs 33 of every Rs 100 I make?

He called the driver over the phone, and told me he will warn him. Wow..that was wonderful instant judgment. The next time you hit somebody accidentally or deliberately go home and sleep peacefully. Nothing will or can happen to you.

Let me finish this blog with my school day prayers –

India is my country
All Indians are my brothers and sisters
I love my country and its rich heritage….blah blah blah….

A couple of decades back it was supposed to be a good joke. People would sarcastically comment about a stingy businessman that – he wouldn’t even mind to sell water! But today it is a reality. Now I will tell you a joke – you will have to buy fresh air to breath in near future!

I think Indian government, which shamelessly collects hefty water tax from every household should assure each and every individual that their water is pure enough to drink - so that people stop suspecting the purity of it, and avoid investing in costly water purifiers. If the government isn’t in a position to provide clean drinking water in spite of charging us the tax – then it is high time we fucked the government itself.

My conviction for non-usage of bottled drinking water became stronger after reading this particular interview of Shekhar Kapur published on few Internet sites. After reading this thought provoking interview I have decided today – that I won’t buy bottled drinking water ever in my life!

I want to rekindle the anger through my films: Shekhar Kapur

Mumbai, April 1 (IANS): After winning over the West with his two Elizabethan sagas, Shekhar Kapur is back in India to 'rekindle the anger' over what's happening in the world.

His next film, 'Paani', is set in 2025 in a city polarised by water scarcity, a world divided into the haves and have-nots - those who have water and those who don't.

'The reason I came back to India is to walk the streets of Mumbai and rekindle the anger that I feel about what's happening to the world,' Kapur, who refuses to drink bottled water, told IANS in an interview.

' 'Paani' is not just about water shortage. It's about the callousness of a world where about three percent of the populace are haves; the rest are have-nots. And what a wonderful way to speak of that disparity through the one resource that we're most squandering away,' said Kapur.

Kapur felt that he got more freedom while making movies in India than the West.

During the making of 'The Four Feathers', 'they (the West) muzzled me. That's one of the reasons why I fled the West. In 'Masoom', 'Mr India' and 'Bandit Queen', which I made in India, I had the freedom to say what I wanted'.

Excerpts from the interview:

Q. What made you return to Mumbai?

A. My life is about yearning for the impossible. It's time to ...create the intellectual property in India. Microsoft has held the copyrights for all intellectual property in Seattle. In Asia we must learn to hold on to our intellectual property. That's one of my big dreams for India.

The comic books based on Indian mythical characters that I've started in the West are all sourced back to India. It's created and implemented by Indians. Until we hold the intellectual property in Asia, we won't prosper. And to those who say Shekhar Kapur has come back home to make a million dollars, I say, I don't want a single cent. I just want to be the conduit of my dreams.

Q. Is your next directorial venture going to be from Mumbai?

A. Yes, I'm finalising the script. I've been desperate to make that film for a long time. The reason I came back to India is to walk the streets of Mumbai and rekindle the anger that I feel about what's happening to the world.

'Paani' is not just about the water shortage. It's about the callousness of a world where about three percent of the populace are haves; the rest are have-nots. And what a wonderful way to speak of that disparity through the one resource that we're most squandering away.

My first story was about this runaway kid who sees this big van of water and is asked to pay for it. It struck me then that the first thing about city life is you've to pay for the water.

Q. Sounds extremely socialistic.

A. Once Devi Lal said something about the way the privileged squander money. 'The rich flush down more water in their toilets than farmers get for a whole day of irrigation.'

Then one day I went to a producer-friend's place on the 13th floor and I was told he was bathing. Go down to the ground floor and you pass through the Dharavi slums and you see hordes of women and children queuing up for a bucket of water. I realised the poor are paying 2,000 times more money for their water than the guy who was in the shower for half an hour.

Q. Is that where 'Paani' was born?

A. Yes, to me water is the basic resource, the next thing to air. Water is already being bottled and sold. Nobody has the right to pollute our water resources. Imagine mineral water being sold at Rs.90! Water as a fashion statement!

I refuse to drink bottled water. I know it's the beginning of the process to privatise water. The ecological cost of bottled water is immense. A story developed in my mind. I had to make a film. My film deals with a city of 20 million people polarised by water scarcity.

Q. Mumbai?

A. I'll shoot it in Mumbai. But it could be any major metro - from Bangkok to New Mexico. The city would be divided into two - below and above the flyovers. The one above would be the cosmopolitan city. That's what's going to happen in the future.

And that upper city takes over the water resources in 'Paani'. They control the water that filters down to the ghettos.

I'm going to make the film contemporary and trendy. I want it to appeal to youngsters.
It's about the exploitation by the first world. And the place where the first world meets the third world is paradise. You get any kind of sexuality and thrills there. I'm setting it in 2025. That isn't so far away.

Q. Who will pay for this dream?

A. The issues involved are so against what the studio style of filmmaking (of the West) represents that I don't want to make 'Paani' with their money. They'll ask for cuts. It happened during 'The Four Feathers'. They muzzled me. That's one of the reasons why I fled the West. In 'Masoom', 'Mr India' and 'Bandit Queen', which I made in India, I had the freedom to say what I wanted.

Check this pic…

Roads are being put, new transformers are getting fixed, and I am sure it will become a hot spot in another 2 years, and the result would be as you have already guessed – I will be made to move further down! So if you have invested in land somewhere, where the value isn’t going up – then you surely can use me.

When writing this particular blog, my 3 ½-year-old-daughter rushed to my computer and said these people have put the mud outside our house – how can we go out now? And I didn’t have an answer. Agreed that they are putting the roads for our benefit, but this is the first time I am seeing the process of putting roads being executed in this particular way. They have put heaps of mud right in the middle of road, which we use, and there are no other roads we can use to come out. I just wonder how could this department not understand what my 3 ½ year-old-daughter can understand.

There are some 20 houses, and mostly all of them have cars. They all go to work. There were no notices given to us to park our vehicles somewhere else. And the people who had gone out in the morning, cannot park their vehicles at home when they reach home in the evening. And there is no place to park either.

I asked the guy, why don’t you put the mud in the corner of the roads – he says – it will be difficult to spread them then. I asked him, when would you spread them, he said Monday (today is Saturday). And my next question was, what should we do if we have to go to work or have any emergency in these 2 days – he said coolly, konjam adjust pannunge (please adjust)!

I think this concept of adjusting has gone a bit too much down our system. We adjust with the dirty bathrooms all around, we adjust with red tapism, we adjust with corrupt politicians, we adjust with dumb bosses, we adjust with frequent power cuts, we adjust with bad roads, and we also adjust with my favourite – the sick Chennai Auto Guys! I think it is high time we stopped adjusting, and start creating rebellion!

Recently I was expecting a cheque from a particular website. The manager had sent it on April 4th through Jetex courier and it didn’t reach me even on April 11th. I never in life thought that a courier within India could take that much time. As we all know, if something goes wrong in India, to get back life on track you will have to take another birth to solve the problem.

I got the Airway Bill Number, but Jetex didn’t have their services in Chennai, hence they deliver through another courier, which doesn’t have a website! After some 30 calls to Mumbai and Chennai – we were able to track our courier after 2 days, and it was lying in Chennai. The cover had my phone number on the cover, but those mother-fucking bastards never bothered to call me, instead they sat on it for a week!

I finally went to the courier office and collected the cheque, and in the process I should have spent some 200-300 Rupees. The only thing I could do to find a vent to my feelings was to write this particular blog, and also tell that manager to STOP using Jetex courier. The manager was good to me, and said – give me your ICICI account number, and from now we will deposit the amount directly into your account instead of wasting time and money in sending cheques through courier.

Thankfully the whole event turned out to be good for me. If only the courier had reached me on time, this particular decision of direct credit would have never been taken!

Moral of the story – God isn’t cruel to us, but it is His style of functioning, which disturbs us sometimes!

I admire what Cho Ramaswamy commented about the bill. 'I suspect that those who endorsed the government's renaming quest must all be DMK supporters. If this government can do this, it can also announce new names for all the 12 months after Periyar, Anna, Stalin, Azhagiri, Kanimozhi and so on.' 'Culture, in my opinion, cannot be ordered by law and therefore no regime has the power to do so,' he asserted.

It isn’t only about culture, but also has geographical, astronomical and astrological reasons. Let us get into the basics now –

*A day is considered to have 24 hours, because Earth rotates around its own axis in that period.
*A year is considered to have 365 ¼ days, because Earth revolves around the Sun in that period.

The universe is considered to have 12 Zodiacs, and this is considered to be true by astronomers also. Now these 12 Zodiacs are nothing but – Mesha (Aries), Rishabha (Taurus), Mithuna (Mithuna), Kataka (Cancer), Simha (Leo), Kanya (Virgo), Thula (Libra), Vrishika (Scorpio), Dhanus (Sagittarius), Makara (Capricorn), Kumbha (Aquarius), & Meena (Pisces).

The first sign of Zodiac is considered to be Mesha, and even the West considers Aries (Mesha) to be the first Sun sign (hence people born between March 15 and April 15 are called Arians). Now the planet Sun stays in each house for a month and takes 12 months to cross all the Zodiacs. So when Sun moves into Mesha (Aries) the first sign – between April 14 & May 14 – it is celebrated as New Year in the Indian system. Not only Tamils but also Punjabis, Andhraite, Bengali, Assamese et al celebrate their New Year in this time frame.

If we listen to M Karunanidhi, then we will be celebrating New Year when Sun moves into Sagittarius, which happens to be the 9th Zodiac sign! And may be later he will ask us to celebrate Diwali on his birthday, Christmas on the day his son Stalin was born, and Good Friday on MGR’s death day!