April 28, 2008
Why do we fall for glamour?
A couple of years back I had this funny pain in both my heels. I consulted various good doctors who owned clean dispensaries, the latest medical equipment, and working air conditioners. But none could help me much. The pain persisted. My wife insisted that I should visit the Chennai government hospital – at least once. I went there without much hope. My mother in law is kind of adept at the existing system there, and with her help, I consulted a doctor. The atmosphere was bad, the energy was nauseating and the doctors looked sicker than the patients!
There wasn’t any privacy whatsoever. Some 5-6 doctors were sitting in one room facing different directions, may be based on their individual understanding of Vaasthu Shastra. Your name would be called by the attendant – loudly, and sometimes murmured - and you should run into the room, shouting your own name. Why because – you otherwise would never know which doctor wants to try his hands on you. I spotted my doctor immediately. This was because he was the only person who looked into my eyes, his body language suggested he was looking for me, and also he was the only one who gave some heed when all the three of us – my wife, my MIL & myself – entered the room shouting my name.
The doctor asked me few questions, and prescribed me few tablets. I took the tablets for a couple of days, and I was out of pain completely. The tablet really worked. And it almost 8 years now, and I never got the pain again. In fact this incident taught me an important lesson of life. I surely didn’t learn that the Indian government & its system are good and that our doctors are the best under the sun. But the lesson I learnt was – “in life never think that quality ‘always’ comes at a higher price,” – it can come to you at cheaper rate too. And glamour necessarily doesn’t work all the time.
I have many clients who come to me, and go very dejected and disappointed. Not because I fail to find their life patterns right, or could not predict events for them. They become unhappy because I tell them the truth about their lives, and make them understand about their limitations. I neither give them false hopes, nor put any attempt to make them feel better. May be I am the only person into business who thinks – customer satisfaction as my last priority!
Few people come to me thinking - I will ask them to perform some expensive pujas, or ask them to wear some expensive gems and promise them of clearing all the problems they are facing now. If I could do that, I will perform all the available pujas on myself, and become the US president first!
I always thought people never wanted to get cheated. But then there are people who still think that until and unless they are made to spend good amount of money on pujas and remedial measures – there is no point in going in for astrology or consulting an astrologer. They always want some glamour in whatever they do.
After all the glamour and money is over they complain to all the remaining astrologers about what all they have done, and how things really didn’t work. And these people are the lot who go ahead one step ahead of putting down astrology and astrologers – calling them fake.
The rule of life is – you cannot stop good things coming into your life. Similarly you cannot stop bad things coming into your life. They are after all 2 sides of the same coin! Hence don’t fall for glamour - you might miss the bitter truth in the process!
Posted by Kenni at 12:32 PM | Comments (0)
April 09, 2008
It’s my birthday today!
Gone are the days (at least mine) when people and friends used to remember my birthday, and load me with gifts and cards. These days I have to announce to the world that it is my birthday, so that none misses to wish me – so better wish me. I complete 33 years of age today (April 9, 1975 born), and start 34! Life has just slipped away, and so far by God’s grace it has been an excellent journey.
God Bless All!
Posted by Kenni at 03:19 AM | Comments (0)
April 01, 2008
Few things I learnt from Karti Chidambaram!
Recently I saw few hoardings and posters of Karti Chidambaram displayed all over Chennai. He had pictures of his father P Chidambaram (the present finance minister), Sonia Gandhi, and also Kamaraj to back his picture. From the poster I could take a wild guess that Karti is slowing getting into Indian politics. The dress he wore in the pic where similar to what his father wears in the parliament even today. Looking at the poster, my memories rushed back to year 2000, when I had just joined Sify.com!
My boss and me happen to meet Karti’s cousin, who had plans to start a portal on Indian law. I think it was myvakil.com, where in they wanted to tie up with Sify.com. The meeting was interesting, and Karti made it even more interesting.
As told to us, Karti was a law student from Cambridge University, and hated to take up law as his full time profession. Instead he was running a discotheque in Chennai. And he was happy about his decision.
He gave an instance, which really was hilarious. The judges in local courts in India hardly raise their head to see the witnesses. Once so happened that a person’s name was called, and he was absent that particular day. But the advocate wanted to close the case hence he pulled a stranger who was hovering around into the witness box, and won the case. The judge never realized it.
In India we have this habit of moving to the court for honest judgments. Whether it is land issue or a remote control issue, we move to the court or at least think about moving to the court to get judgment in a day or two. But in the process of court proceedings both the parties die of natural causes. For instance Bal Thackeray’s 1992 riot case is still pending in court, and I am sure the judgment will be passed only after he dies of natural reason.
There was an eye opening statistics, which said, if all the pending cases of India have to be cleared it will take 300 years from now!
Karti was clear in his approach. He said the last option for anyone should be to move to court to solve problems – whether personal or legal. Better to try to solve it outside the court. You talk, or pay, or compensate – but let moving to the court be the last resort!
I was still a bit skeptical about what Karti said, until I happen to have a sitting with my personal lawyer couple of years later. She said Indian legal system is pro-wrong doers, and against right doers. If someone files a case against you – you have million ways to escape, but if you file a case against someone – then be rest assured you will be wasting your time, energy and money!
May be Indian legal system was formatted so - to see to it that not a single innocent person gets punished in any case!
Posted by Kenni at 07:50 AM | Comments (0)
March 25, 2008
Where’s the equality part?
Men and women are equals. And after they get married to each other they should treat each other with utmost equality. They should give equal rights and also give enough freedom to each other. Both can have their own thoughts, expressions and also can have a career they think is right for them. They should not or need not interfere with each other’s career, and preferably men should not lay down rules and regulations to her spouse. These things would be so good, if only if they were true…
Recently talking to a friend of mine I happen to learn that men in Germany these days are afraid to get married. I asked why? And my friend said, women in Germany these days are on a business prowl. They get married to a man of a good career and money, and after a year or two file for a divorce. In the process the woman has nothing to lose, while the man lose half his fortune in the name of alimony or compensation!
I was going through Yahoo.com today, and they had put an interesting case study about the costliest divorces of Hollywood –
Michael Jordan and Junaita Vanoy
Michael Jordan, the basketball superstar, had to shell out $168 million to get divorce from his ex-wife, Juanita Vanoy, after 17 years of togetherness.
Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey
Singer-songwriter Neil Diamond settled an estimated $150 million to Marcia Murphey, whom he married in 1969. They divorced in 1996. Diamond later said Murphey, his second wife, was 'worth every penny.' (Very well said)
Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving
Oscar-winning director Steven Spielberg's first marriage, to actress Amy Irving, ended in 1989 with his ex-spouse awarded roughly half of the filmmaker's fortune, about $100 million.
Harrison Ford and Melissa Mathison
Movie star Harrison Ford has reportedly paid his second wife, Melissa Mathison, a whopping $85 million in a record-breaking divorce settlement.
Kevin Costner and Cindy Silva
Screen star Kevin Costner had an estimated $80 million settlement obtained by his first spouse, Cindy Silva, whose 16-year marriage to the actor spanned his peak earning years.
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman
When Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman parted in 2001 it was reported that, in dividing up their reputed fortune of $350 million, Kidman got $4.3 million, a five-bedroom mansion in the Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles and a house in Sydney, Australia. (I surely would want to be a born a beautiful girl in my next life)
John and Beverly Charman
Multi-millionaire businessman and an insurance magnate, John Charman, had been ordered to pay his former wife, Beverly Charman, 48 million pound ($97 million) after 27 years of marriage. It is the biggest divorce award in British legal history.
If men and women were equal, and if marriage brings the same level of happiness and grief to both, and if sexual need and contentment is equal for both – then why are only men made the prey to pay? Why don’t women pay any alimony in return?
I am sure men were dumb so far, and they won’t be in future. These days to save our asses we have something called pre-nuptial agreement wherein both the couple sign a document, which talks about provision for the division of property and wealth during dissolution of marriage.
So men - don’t get married in a hurry. If not a virginity test, at least sign a prenuptial agreement before getting married to save yourself from a probable bankruptcy!
Posted by Kenni at 11:11 AM | Comments (0)
December 17, 2007
Few ‘not so serious’ telephonic conversations!
This incident took place some time before I had actually trained my mind to a ‘let go’ state of affairs. Way back in the year 2004, I was under the illusion that advertisement in newspaper about my existence, availability, and astrological services will bring me good number of clients. I didn’t have much fund to advertise in leading newspapers hence I opted to put an advertisement in the local newspaper named Adyar Times. I checked the previous issue of the newspaper and spotted another astrologer who already had advertised about himself. I thought talking to him about the response would help me clear little confusions I had on my mind about the feedback the ad can get me.
I called him and the conversation went this way…
Me – Hello, I am Kennedi here
Him - OK
Me – I am an astrologer
Him – OK
Me – I saw your advertisement in Adyar Times
Him – OK
Me – I just wanted to know the response you get through your ad
Him – OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Me – OK
Him – OK
Me – Thanks
Him – OK
I inserted an ad about myself in the newspaper after this ‘OK’ conversation and failed to a get a single response. After this particular ‘NOT SO OK’ experience I dropped the idea of advertising in newspapers completely.
I AM ‘Joking’!
At The Indian Express Online Media Ltd (also called as TIEOML), Mumbai, my boss’s name was Anil Nair. He was quite a famous guy, who had many friends to his credit – and he was/is also an active member of Press Club of Mumbai.
Mobile phones had not hit the market as yet, and people still were finding immense pleasure in flaunting their sick Pagers. Anil used to get many calls from his friends at office, and most of the calls used to come in his absence, and one of the jobs of us sub-ordinates was to attend his calls – and say Anil has just stepped out, may I know who is on the line?
I picked up the call once, and the conversation went this way…
Me – Hello
Him – Anil Nair?
Me – No, Kennedi
Him – Can I speak to Anil Nair?
Me – Yes, you can. But then he has not reached the office as yet.
Him – What time is he expected?
Me – (God knows) 11 ish
Him – Ok
Me – May I know who is on the line?
Him – I am joking
Me – that is fine, but who is on the line?
Him – I am joking
Me – you can joke later, but then what is your name?
Him – I am joking – J O E K I N G – Joe King!!
God knows why parents name their children with such Phani names!
Posted by Kenni at 12:53 PM | Comments (0)
December 12, 2007
Funny chat conversation with an asshole!
The one who wins an argument need not hold the truth, and the one who loses the argument need not hold falsehood. There are many a people who call me a fake or a quack or a fraud – of course without meeting me in person or taking an astrological reading from me. They are conditioned that way by the scientific world, and there is no harm in it. For the world to run the non-believers are as much important as the believer themselves - in fact their presence complement each other perfectly well. Also for a believer no proof is necessary, and for a non-believer any proof is insufficient.
Anyone who is on the side of belief will lose arguments based on astrology, God, miracles, black magic, spirits et al for there is no clear-cut scientific evidence for these things. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist or they don’t work. If you put me on the side of non-believers I can win the argument even better than an existing non-believer. But my speciality would be I could argue from the believer’s end too – which an existing non-believer cannot for lack of knowledge.
I was just wondering what to blog today, and God sent me a non-believer who had guts only to buzz me on Yahoo messenger….
Here is the unedited chat conversation between him and me….
kdeveshwar: Hello Sir, I am Karan, need a consultation
kennedig: mail me your birth details - date, place and time of birth
kdeveshwar: but I am not jobless to do all those things, better give me ur opinion online
kennedig: J
kennedig: don;t u think ur statement was a bit arrogant?
kdeveshwar: u are here to do biz, give me ur paypal Id, I will pay whatever u want, but I cant send out my personal details in email
kennedig: u sure am here to do business?
kennedig: if am into business - then i surely would send a paypal request
kdeveshwar: then?
kennedig: but in ur case i refuse to do a reading for u
kdeveshwar: an erudite cant be egoistic
kennedig: i have the biggest EGO in the world and am proud about it
kennedig: am just a mirror - if u r good, am better...if u r bad, am worse
kdeveshwar: then dont call urself an astrologist, u are only suited to read palms like hags do in elliots beach
kennedig: lol. u r funny
kennedig: u either haven;t good sex in life or haven;t got a good parentage
kennedig: ur depression seems to get reflected in ur words
kdeveshwar: oh yea, u think urself as an reincarnation of osho too, pathetic souls
kennedig: i think u should change ur name from Eshwar to Mother fucker
kennedig: go on - i think i will put this chat on my blog site - it is getting interesting
kdeveshwar: yes its worth it, u dont have anything else that trash to fill up ur own carbage bin, do it
kennedig: don;t need ur consent for sure
kennedig: anything else dear?
kennedig: or u r short of words?
kdeveshwar: I am not short of words, but helpless to save ur clients who believe in quacks like u
kennedig: u bohter abour ur life - my clients will bother about theirs
kennedig: u know there is a button called ignore on yahoo messenger - whihc can ignore u completely
kennedig: but then i want to keep the conversation going - because am having fun at ur cost
kdeveshwar: dont ever do it as u will lose a guiding soul forever, I am here to show u a right path to redeem urself a bit
kennedig:
kennedig: show urself the path first
kennedig: am alraedy there
kdeveshwar: do u know wht's aminocentosis?
kennedig: and i never buzzed u - u buzzed me
kennedig: i surely don;t know the meaning of the word u used..i can;t even spell it...i know only one thing in life
kennedig: that God exists and i have realised his presence
kdeveshwar: bullshit
kennedig: God Bless YOu
kennedig: i can only say what Jesus said - Bless you because you don;t know what u r saying
kdeveshwar: u even make ur own fake prediction challenging medical science
kennedig: yeah i can do that
kennedig: i can even make scientists to lick my butt
kdeveshwar: sonography is what is seen just in front of own eyes not just making wild prediction in fake mental eyes
kennedig: ignorance is bliss
kdeveshwar: unless ur client's kid go for a transgender option sex won't change
kennedig: and u r ignorant...and am happy u r one
kennedig: my clients belong to the intelligent cadre - aren;t assholes like u Eshwar
kdeveshwar: dont u feel ashamed to make such predictions that they will smear mud on ur face after a few months
kennedig: u know i can defeat u any conversation - u just need to have the guts to meet me in person
kennedig: if God wants to smear mud on my face - am ready for that too
kennedig: and i know u will never have the balls to meet me in person
kennedig: coward u r - can only buzz me on messenger
kdeveshwar: all quacks and spineless like u drag god to support their false causes
kennedig: may be u r right
kennedig: i cannot drag ur prostitite mother to support me right?
kdeveshwar: this shows ur frustration
kdeveshwar: good u are losing control
kennedig: yeah i never said I am god
kennedig: i said am a mirror
kennedig: if u r bad...am worse
kennedig: didn;t i say - am enjyoing the chat
kennedig: or else i could have blocked u long back
kdeveshwar: u can do it, but won't benefit anything out of it
kennedig: i want few sentences more from ur side
kennedig: so that i can put it on blog
kennedig: after i get those sentences i will block u
kennedig: it is my priority whether am talking to u or not
kennedig: and not urs
kdeveshwar: pls blog it, let the world know ur fake values
kennedig: sure thing i will
kennedig: i care a hair about people like u
kennedig: and this blog will be a lesson to all those assholes out their - who without brains or analysis call astrologers fake
kennedig: and u should have seen, heard only about soft astrologers - i am the hardest one u will ever find
kennedig: physically and as well as mentally
kennedig: confront me in which ever format - you will eat the dirt soon
kdeveshwar: world has always given birth to such aberrations. that's god faults, even he needs some comic interludes like u on this serious earth
kennedig: u call it world - i call it God
kennedig: 2 more sentences
kennedig: Krishna gave Shishupaal 100 chances
kennedig: u have only 2 more
kennedig: be fast - u cant even type faster than me
kennedig: or think or act faster than me either
kennedig: ur count down starts
kennedig: 10
kennedig: 9
kennedig: 8
kennedig: 7
kennedig: 6
kennedig: 5
kennedig: 4
kennedig: 3
kennedig: 2
kennedig: 1
kennedig: chalo then
kennedig: thanks for the chat
These kinds of people are God sent who help me a lot to keep my cool and not to lose my focus and temper. In fact Jesus would have been forgotten long back if he wasn’t crucified. His greatness was in accepting and blessing assholes, and I do the same too..
God Bless the non-believers for they promote God and Astrology more than even the believers do!
Posted by Kenni at 07:58 AM | Comments (0)
June 03, 2007
You cannot learn without making mistakes!
They say until and unless you make mistakes you will never learn. But when you indeed make mistakes – it leaves back a yucky feeling in your mind, which lasts for a very long time. Sometimes mistakes lead to fear. Sometimes it creates rebellion, and sometimes it gives you more confidence. And for me it has led to a mixed feeling. In fact I was feeling perfectly alright till I rammed into my apartment’s electrical meter box and broke the door with the car I got recently. Instead of stamping on the brake, I stamped on the accelerator!
The vehicle was stuck and I could not move an inch. I was already sweating, and had the least idea about what to do next. And a lady living in our ‘Co-operative’ Housing Society came running to her window and said – you have broke the door, now you have to pay for it! I never thought that a common fucking electrical board could be more important for someone than people in trouble. I surely would pray for her husband’s mental peace and over all stability.
That was not all for the day. Fear should not stop you from anything they say. And I recollected Gabbar’s famous dialogue- Jo dar gaya, woh mar gaya…and took the vehicle once again in the evening, and this time to one of the most traffic prone areas in Chennai. I think I was on track, but then a bus took a sudden left, and broke the car’s rear view mirror. Both – the bus and my car - were stuck together for about 10 minutes on the busy road, and the scene looked as if two dogs were stuck to each other while having sex.
I went completely blank. Some 20 people including the bus driver and the conductor gathered to solve the problem. They kept talking, giving ideas, and I could not hear anything – I went deaf. I simply don’t understand why mind stops functioning in these kind of situations! After few minutes - it was all over, and we reached home safely after having the dinner sponsored by my mother in law.
I don’t know whether I have learnt driving properly, but then I have learnt one thing for sure - that you cannot learn without making mistakes. And that minor accidents are part and parcel of driving cars or riding motorbikes. No wonder – I have already fallen thrice from my motorbike – once hitting a white dog before getting a license, the next time hitting a black dog after getting a license, and third time an Ambassador hit me from the back!
Note For Animal Lovers – Both the dogs were not injured in the accident!
Posted by Kenni at 08:43 PM | Comments (0)
December 23, 2006
Can Lord Ayyappa visit a Beer Bar?!
Day before yesterday was an interesting day for me. My Guruswami called me for an Ayyappa bhajan, and as a disciple I usually don’t ask him about where the bhajan is held - if I have time I go and if I have work I simply stay at home. I reached his home by evening. With a smile on his face my Guruswami said it is the same person’s house where we went last year. I asked him who? And he replied the same wine shop owner!
We had visited the wine shop owner’s house for an Ayyappa puja last year. His house was too small to accommodate the 20-25 people who were present for the puja. This time also I expected the same congested place, where we had to literally sit on each other’s lap to get adjusted. But there was something else in store for us this year.
As we reached the place, the wine shop owner clad in the regular Ayyappa disciple costume, welcomed us with honest folded hands. He guided us to the first floor, but I was sure that his house was in the ground floor. His wine shop was kept closed that day, and I spotted a board hanging which said - A/C Bar Attached!
We reached the first floor – the room was comparatively big, it was clean, and it had A/Cs attached! The place was emptied for the puja, and the photos of Lord Ayyappa and other Gods and Goddesses were being decorated with flowers, fruits, sandal paste, & agarbathis. A screen, which normally is put in all the pujas, was put just behind the photos. Out of curiosity I peeped behind and I could see bottles of beer, rum, brandy and whisky! It was a beer bar where the puja was held.
The puja went on well, and to be honest the 3 hours of bhajan that followed the puja was one of the best pujas I attended so far in this season!
The realizations I had were – if God was omnipresent then he surely should be present in a beer bar too. And if God is for equality – he should bless a wine shop owner the same way he blesses a holy saint!
The irony of the whole episode was a ‘police officer’, also on Ayyappa abstinence, was performing the puja! I was reminded of a beautiful line in one of our songs, which says – ‘Uruvinil illai bedam , ingu yaavum iraiven rupam’ - which means – there is no disparity in looks of people, ALL are different forms of the same God!
Well what scared me a bit later was, what if a brothel owner was on abstinence for Lord Ayyappa and if he had organized a puja?!!
Posted by Kenni at 08:23 AM | Comments (0)
November 04, 2006
Understanding people better!
There are many ways under which all the people of the world can be categorized. And people falling in these particular categories - behave the same (more or less), and their life patterns remains the same (more or less). I admire Linda Goodman for one thing. She at least made astrology as a subject known to many across the globe, who otherwise never had any idea about this beautiful art. But I am sure no Indian astrologer will ever give her more than 2 out of 10 for the insights she published. And also she never got into predicting events or human lives as our own astrologer BV Raman did. I am sure even most Indians don't know who B V Raman is/was.
This particular blog is not to hurt any one in particular. It is just my experience with these people, which helped me get an insight about what attributes dominates a person – based on his/her cultural background, language & the states he belongs to.
Maharashtrians – they are usually non-competitive, content & cool. They are happy with whatever they get. They are more receptive to people from other states, and are friendly with most. One & the only thing that makes them mad is - the concept of Islam (probably they still could not digest Chatrapathi Shivaji’s defeat at the hands of Mughals).
Kashmiris – Most of them are good looking, and have good built and great complexion. They dress well, and love to show off with the latest in the market. They are good as friends, but can turn into a beast for menial reasons in spur of a moment.
Bengalis – Most of them are well read, intelligent and very knowledgeable. Their laziness is what stops them from performing well in the current world. They move around as if ‘their batteries need a change’.
UP & MP – There are 2 categories here – good looking & intelligent, and good looking & dumb. They have good built, great complexion, and until they open their mouth you won’t know who is intelligent and who is dumb. The best thing is to stick to the old saying – looks are deceptive most of the times. They have a natural knack for business.
Punjabis – They make great friends, but half the time they look lost. They make good managers, provided people working under them are compulsorily intelligent. They are best at taking orders, and most of the times lack original thinking - or rather thinking.
Oriya – Again they have two categories – good looking & dumb, and bad looking & dumb. Never get into debates with them - you will never know when the topic shifted. If by chance or by bad luck you get into debates with them, keep confirming in between the topic of discussion.
Telugu - They try to live life King Size. They are mostly hardworking with average intellect. Harmless until provoked. Rice & pickles are two things they cannot live without.
Kannadigas – are always a bit confused about their origin, literature & also their ideologies. They indeed are harmless people to hang out with.
Malayali – 4 things defines a Malayali the best – hardworking, money-minded, self centered & always selfish.
Gujarathis & Marwadis – they are all farts, no shit types. They talk, talk, and talk as if there is no tomorrow. And they are least bothered if someone is listening to them or not. In fact you might get tired listening to them. Making a Gujju take out 1 rupee from his wallet is tougher than milking a bull. They spend without second thoughts only on food, traveling & for religious reasons.
Tamil Brahmins – they have an illusionary belief that they are the only ones who are closer to God, and the rest all are sinners. They are highly egoistic in nature, and never would get tired talking about themselves. Whatever be the subject they will never accept that ‘they don’t know’, and appreciating others is one of the phobias they naturally possess.
Other Tamils – can never sit idle for long. Gossiping and commenting on others is the best pass time they posses. They are a bit lost about which language to accept and which language to reject, and which system to accept and which system to reject. They are averagely intelligent, and would waste a lot of time in chit chatting, talking, writing and blogging!
Posted by Kenni at 12:05 PM | Comments (0)
September 04, 2006
The first & the last marathon I ran!
18 kilometres! And they casually said it is a ‘Mini’ marathon. The real ones comprise of 42 kms I guess. We neither wanted to prove our stamina nor wanted to win the marathon. The announcement said ‘Free T-shirts for all who participated’ – that is what attracted us. Out of the many who stayed in hostel we four were the only guys who jogged & exercised regularly those days (1994). Hence thought we had a fair amount of chance to win. Rest of the 48 people who participated were athletes and long time marathon runners!
Edmunds was the most favourite. All knew he would win. He had been winning the marathon for a couple of years continuously now. He was warming up in his professional tracksuit, and we were already wearing the free T-shirts that were distributed. There was a short cut to reach the hostel, but then that was already blocked. And a rule was put – if someone tries to take the T-shirt and stop midway – he has to return the T-shirt with a fine! We thought - might as well we run.
I spoke to many about how to complete the race. And they said – “you will feel you are running only till you complete 5 kms or so, later your legs will roll automatically, and there won’t be any pain.” Those words were very motivating. And we thought although not 1st at least we will end up being in the first 10 out of the 52 who ran.
The whistle went on, and all ran like crazy - as if they wanted to catch a bus. We were clear about our strategy - slow and steady wins the race. There was another good news. In the very first kilometer Edmunds had a hamstring pull, and he could not run any further. That gave us another boost. Now we could see our chances of winning the race brighter.
After 10-15 mns of running, we saw none in front of us, nor we could spot anyone behind us. We had a smile on our face – we had the confidence of catching them all when we return. The race was 9 kms to and 9 kms fro.
5 kms were up, and my legs were not rolling automatically. The pain was the same right from the very first step - there was no difference. I wanted to find that bugger and bang him - whoever told me that it is easy after few initial kms. Every step was like choosing death. We lost the smile on our faces, and were already becoming to look like refugees running for their lives.
After 30 mns of continuous running we spotted a guy running in the opposite direction. My friend innocently asked me – is there any other marathon going on simultaneously. I said, “no. That guy is my NCC colleague. He has also participated in this particular race.” Seeing him run back, we were happy. We thought we are close to the first half of the marathon. The sad part was after spotting that guy – we ran another 20 mns to complete the 9 kms mark!
The number of people running in the opposite direction kept increasing. And we could not increase our speed. Legs, chest, stomach, and every inch of our body were already aching like hell.
We four had decided from the beginning that, we would complete the race together. But I don’t know what happened to us, when we were just 100 mtrs away from the finish line. We could hear the claps, and that made all of us forget our friendships, and also the promise we made. The last 100 mtrs was a sprint. And I came the last among the four!
Out of the 42 who completed the race we came 31st, 32nd, 33rd and 34th. The experience was indeed good, but not good enough to be repeated. After that experience I am paranoid about running marathons, and find it really funny whoever runs for global peace!
Posted by Kenni at 06:32 PM | Comments (0)
May 31, 2006
It’s fucking hilarious?!
It was Osho’s books and audio cassettes that got me into spirituality. His books answered lots of my inner quests, and his views transformed many of my preconceived notions and thoughts. His meditation techniques are still considered to be the best among the lot available, and people like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar or Juggi Vasudev or Swami Sukhobonanda are mere copy cats of him. Osho existed much ahead of his times - like most original thinkers do. And he died much early too, thanks to the then US President Ronald Regan. Out of his 80 and odd books on spirituality, only one book was written on sex, ‘From Sex to Super Consciousness’, and ironically that was the most sold title!
Like any other enlightened soul, even Osho died being misunderstood. These days there are only few people who meditate these days using his techniques, they rather prefer to read his books – which is much easier than to keep silent for few minutes.
The moment you mention Osho’s name among ignorant people, they immediately would say Osho was a sex Guru and he used to preach free sex. In fact he never did that. He only said, if you think sex is a hurdle for your spiritual growth then just get over with it before you come for meditation.
And also in his ashram, located in Poona, there was something called Sex Therapy where in groups of men and women were asked to have sex together in the same room. And this therapy was not open for all. Osho himself would select the people whom he felt were ready spiritually for the same.
All said and done, here is an audio file about Osho’s discourse on the word FUCK!
Copy paste the following URL in a new window….
http://rapidshare.de/files/21287852/osho-on-fuck-debonairblog-com.mp3
*Go the page, scroll down, and you will see a button called Free
*Click on that button, and wait for a while,
*You will see ‘No premium-user. Please enter *** here: BOX’ in bold
*Enter that secret letters in the box provided and press download, the file will be saved in your machine, and then listen to it
The audio file is worth the effort
Warning and Courtesy
I got the audio file from http://www.debonairblog.com It is a pornographic site, which has hidden cam videos of Tamil actress Khusboo changing, Trisha bathing and much more….You need to be 21 and above to visit this site, and moreover you should be sexually matured!
Posted by Kenni at 11:24 AM | Comments (0)
January 02, 2006
Striptease – ekdam Indian ishtyle!
If you are not open to know few unheard things that happen in our country, kindly stop reading this particular blog.
One of my closest relatives living in a distant land went to a striptease recently. And his wife wasn’t upset a bit (at least she sounded cool to me). And my alter ego immediately pondered - why are these Western countries so sick when it comes to sexuality! That particular feeling existed just for few microseconds, before I honestly asked myself. Wouldn’t you enjoy the same if you were put in some Western country? And the answer was obviously YES! Until & unless people work on their sexual energy completely through meditation, none would be able to resist the energy a nude blonde would emanate!
Striptease is not a Western phenomenon at all. In fact all that have become a multi million businesses in the West have been discovered & invented in India. And the biggest irony is that - all that were found in India & which went off shore were banned in India itself! This includes brothels, striptease clubs, swapping parties, & even sex toys (sex toys have a mention in kama sutra and in all those literatures that were written about sex in India)!
I recollected an incident that my friend told me long back during my hostel days, about what happens in his village during festival seasons.
We were having our evening stroll, and by looking at a tractor with huge open garbage-container behind my friend remarked, “do you know what purpose this particular vehicle is used in our village?” I said, “what else to collect garbage.” And he had a naughty smile on his face. And he went on to explain what really happens…
The news is spread just through word of mouth and no other means of advertising is appreciated. Strict confidentiality is maintained, so that no women or wives come to know about what exactly is scheduled at 12 midnight in the outskirts of the village amidst rice crop. The two important essentials that men take with them are a bed sheet to cover their heads to protect them from cold and also from other family members who could have turned up without their knowledge, and a torch light for clear visibility in pitch dark roads (the torch light has another important function that is detailed later).
The police are kept updated about this special event, and they are given special seats in the front row. Not that their presence is liked, but then they are invited so that they keep themselves away from raiding the place when the stage is on fire with some awesome performances.
When the crowd is all set, the tractor arrives. Four sides of the container are pulled down, and a huge generator is downloaded. The event takes place in the remotest part of the village where even electricity has not reached yet. The stage is set with 2 overhead lights, and the music is put ‘on’ using the antique gramophone – and there arrive the striptease artists fully drunk, and all ready to strip themselves in front of the silent crowd (the crowd is silent most of the times for obvious reasons. None wants to get caught)!
After some initial warming up by flashing private parts, artists are now completely nude under the bright overhead lights dancing their way to glory. Now comes the other important use of the torch light the men were carrying. As the light is over the head, the vital parts are not visible clearly - it is pitch dark in the bush too. Men aim their torch lights exactly at the right spot to get a clear vision of the same. (so carrying a powerful torch lights help).
I was awestruck at the enlightening experience my friend was bestowing upon me. I asked out of mere curiosity, so how does the climax go? He was a bit reluctant to say, thinking I would say a big yuck. I said, “go on it is fine. Don’t deprive my senses of the final ecstasy at this juncture.” He continued, saying at the end the striptease artists pee in a glass/tumbler and shower that on the crowd. And I said, “YUCK”!!!!
Posted by Kenni at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)
December 14, 2005
Mind your language, at least in India – Part 2!
When my brother in law (BIL) (now in Belgium), started his career in the IT field, he had to move to Mumbai. The only languages he knew were Tamizh and English and he was completely unaware about Hindi and Marathi – the two basic languages spoken in Mumbai. He had made a compartment friend - Mohan, who thankfully was a Tamilian born and brought up in Mumbai. They would speak in English and Tamil, and Mohan would teach him a bit of Hindi once in a while.
On a holiday they decided to have lunch together in some restuarant, and my BIL handed over the menu to Mohan, so that he could decide whatever they could eat. Mohan looked into the menu for a while, and suddenly pointed to my BIL, asking “kulcha?” And my BIL immediately replied, “haan kulichiten”! Mohan, in fact was asking whether he will have Kulcha, a North Indian food, and my BIL thought he was asking him whether he took a bath today in Tamil!
Working late nights are part and parcel of any Corporate culture. After a day long work, my BIL caught the last train to home situated in Dombivli, a suburb some 54 kms from Mumbai. It was too late for the restaurants to remain open. Hence he had to buy some bananas for dinner. Bananas are sold by Marathi women, and they sell it at very cheap price. You can get 12 bananas for Rs 10. And they sell it saying the price, “dahala baaraa, dahala baaraa, dahala baaraa”, which means take 12 for Rs 10 in Marathi.
The next day, my BIL reached office a bit late. And all knew he was staying alone and that too very far from office. All were worried about what would have he had in the night for dinner. A Marathi associate approached him and asked, “so what did he you have for dinner?” And my BIL said, “I had few dahala baaras”! His friend dropped his cigarette. My BIL thought bananas are called dahala baaraa in Marathi.
At Mumbai, we were blessed with a Tamil family as our neighbours. The neighbourhood lady had a special passion for gardening. She would get many kinds of plants from all over places, and would spend a lot of time arranging them in her small garden she had in her balcony. Once when she was coming home from work, and she spotted a Tulsi plant (an Indian herbal plant), which had really grown well in one of the Maharashtrian’s homes. She could not stop herself. She knocked the doors, and asked if she can get a stem of the same so that she can have it in her house too. The Marathi lady was really kind and helpful. She immediately broke a stem of the plant and said in Marathi, “ghari jaaun tumchi kundith theva, changle yenaar” (go home and keep the same in your ‘kundi’ and it will grow well). My neighbour, thanked the lady, came home, and burst into laughter. Kundi in Marathi means flower pot and in Tamil means butt!!!
Posted by Kenni at 11:29 AM | Comments (0)
December 13, 2005
Mind your language, at least in India – Part 1!
India is a vast country, and I always admired its unity in diversity. Apart from the 15 important languages that are put on any Indian currency note, there should be few hundred different languages in India, and few thousand different dialects of the same. I read somewhere that in Madhya Pradesh alone - some 300 different dialects are spoken, and that the dialect changes every 10-13 kilo metres you travel! In this situation, it is really hard to miss few hilarious moments that different languages could create.
Having brought up in Mumbai, 4 languages were made compulsory to me - English, Hindi, Marathi at School, and Tamil at home. I learnt Malayalam too, not out of any special interest, but by watching those soft porn movies every week during my college days.
To complete my degree I had to move to Coimbatore, and when I reached there all I knew was a language that was a mixture of all the 4 languages. Whatever Tamizh (Mother tongue) I knew was the language my mom spoke to us, and the language that is spoken in Tamizh movies. Hence I knew very less about foul words or profane usage.
In one of our classes, to explain some chemical reaction our professor took the example of the division in Islam. He said, “Islam is divided into two major sections – Sunny & Shiite.” I was just wondering, why is he pronouncing (sunni) ‘soon nee’ as ‘sun nee’? After the class was over I asked one of the guys, “why does the professor pronounce it wrong?” He burst into laughter and started debating with me that it is ‘sun nee’ only and not ‘soon nee’ as I was saying. Others laughed at me too, though I knew for sure that they were all wrong. What offended me was their laughter. They laughed every time I said it was ‘soon nee’ and not ‘sun nee’ – it was later I was told that in Tamizh ‘sun nee’ means man’s dick! Probably the professor deliberately avoided to pronounce it right to save embarrassment in front of 37 guys & 13 girls!
Pronunciation of different words to a very large extent depends on the language you know first or you are trained into first. And most people give priority to their mother tongue, and compare all the other words with their own language. If you notice, most Tamilians will pronounce Bedi of Kiran Bedi or Pooja Bedi as ‘Bay Dee’ and not ‘Bay Thee’. Though the spelling sounds ‘Bay Dee’, the actual pronunciation is ‘Bay Thee’. Well Tamilians would argue against me, because ‘Bay Thee’ in Tamizh means loose motion!
You need to live in Mumbai to experience the funny things that go around you day in and day out. There are four places in India, which people hate to live first. And once they live for 3 months, they are so addicted to those places that no other place impresses them – they essentially are Mumbai, Pune, Delhi & Bangalore.
There are special electric trains for ladies during the early hours in Mumbai. Two Maharashtrians were on the platform, and they were unaware about the train being a special one for women. They were running fast to catch the train, and the guy running behind suddenly listened to the announcement that was made. He understood that it was a special train, and started yelling to his friend running in front of him, “fuck the ladeej (ladies), fuck the ladeej (ladies)”. The whole platform burst into laughter. In fact both the guys were innocent, and they didn’t know much of English. ‘Fakth’ in Marathi means ‘only’, and these special trains are announced as, ‘fakth striyaansathi.’ And one of the guys was just attempting to learn English by at least saying ladeej (ladies) for ‘striyaansathi.’ The best part was to see the embarrassment on few educated women’s face, who boarded the train after this guy’s announcement!
Posted by Kenni at 12:50 PM | Comments (0)
August 13, 2005
Krish Shrikanth – double role?!
I am sure most of my readers by now know where I worked last – in case you aren’t sure just mail me and I will confirm. It so happened….
it was a cricket series, and our company booked our retired star opener Krish Shrikanth for a live chat sessions. The deal was - he would chat live on the Internet with the audience just after each match was over, and he would share his opinions about the match with all the Netizens who come online. Things were perfect, till he thought of transferring the power of (ch)attorney to the sports editor!
Krish gave the power of chatting to the sports editor, and said he (sports editor) can chat using his (Krish’s) name, as he (Krish) would be busy with some other work. They both agreed upon. The sports editor would come online as Krish Shrikanth every evening at 6 pm and would chat live as Krish till 7 pm.
The editor enjoyed being in the limelight, as the questions thrown to him were very analytical. And also who would otherwise chat with him, if he had announced him as a mere sports editor?
It went on well for a week, till Krish forgot something very important.
Krish Shrikanth was so confused with his schedule that, he okayed being on a TV channel at 6 pm on one of the days, and didn’t even bother to inform the sports editor about his latest plans.
The Sports Editor, as usual, would think himself to be Krish Shirkanth at 6 pm, snuffle a couple of times, login as Krish, and chat with the audience. Thank God the editor didn’t have a bat, or else he would have hurled it a couple of times too. The editor didn’t keep the TV on. And some lucky browser/bugger was browsing the Internet keeping his TV ‘on’, and he found Krish Shrikanth on the TV live!!!
He immediately messaged the dummy Krish (the sports editor) on the chat interface, how come you are present both on TV and also on the Internet? The sports editor logged out!!!
Posted by Kenni at 03:05 PM | Comments (0)
August 10, 2005
Humour!
Humour is one of the most difficult emotions to deal with, and it isn’t easy to make someone laugh. Charlie Chaplin had to make himself look funny, had to fall innumerous times, and had to take many blows to make thousands laugh.
Yesterday was my 1st daughter G. K. Tejeswini’s birthday, and I thought I would start a humour section on my blog site dedicated to her. This section will include all those funny incidents that take place in our day to day life!
College of course is a period when most people have the maximum amount of fun & humour happening in their life. If given a chance to rewind lives most people would want to relive their college days. Once we tried to perform a comedy skit mocking all the advertisements shown on the television. Except for us, none laughed. In fact the audience became more serious about the ads.
Here is the first incident I could recollect that took place during my glorious days at PSG Arts, Coimbatore….
Prof Sambathu was our Physics master, and he was acknowledged for his command over English & also his knowledge about the subject he handled. In a world of blinds, the one eyed person is a King. Rest of the professors always struggled in the way they presented themselves.
Our Physics lab was on the 3rd floor, and the first rule inside the Physics laboratory was you should never keep your bag on the experiment table. This probably would be considered as the biggest sin you would ever commit in your life.
The Physics experiment had started, and one of my friends was late to the class. He rushed in a hurry, and placed his bag on the table. Seeing this Prof Sambathu got a bit irritated, and he said, “Rakesh please keep your bag on the Earth. I repeat, keep your bag on the Earth”!
Posted by Kenni at 08:39 AM | Comments (0)