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October 24, 2008
When will it rain?
It was raining heavily in Chennai for couple of days, and people were clueless about when it will stop. In fact it is very easy to guess it. Whenever the meteorological department asks the government to announce holidays for schools, it simply means that it won’t rain that day. And the next 2 days will be full of scorching heat. Day before yesterday, the government announced holidays for schools, and the rain stopped. And since yesterday sun is shining as bright as it can.
I simply don’t understand why millions of money is wasted in sending satellites, which hardly send relevant data. The head of the meteorological department comes into limelight only when there is rain, and the moment he says it will rain heavily, the rain stops! And I have been noticing this for couple of years.
Tsunami was unexpected, and no satellite could send pre warning. And the next 2 times when scientist said, there are chances of tsunami - fishermen died in stampede!
In fact there is a book called Brihat Samita (2 volumes) written by Indian saints, which talks about how human beings and nature are well connected. It also talks about how by taking into consideration few natural signs few important events can be predicted. You should read the book completely to gather guts to deny the facts.
Here is a small sign you can experiment yourself. If you find red colour dragonflies flying in plenty at human heights or a bit above – there will be heavy rains in 48 hours. Don’t apply logic, just experiment!
Posted by Kenni at 06:03 AM | Comments (0)
October 20, 2008
Change in Mobile Number – 92813 09013
My mobile phone conked after 4 years of dedicated service to her master. Hence instead of repairing it, I thought I would let her die. I surely will pray for her soul to rest in peace. My new mobile number is ‘92813 09013’, and guess what? My new mobile is still a ‘virgin’!
Posted by Kenni at 12:11 PM | Comments (0)
October 16, 2008
Seventymm.com!
When things don’t go the way you want them to, then it is always better to change yourself. I am a movie freak, and when things didn’t go the way I wanted them to – I decided NOT to visit multiplexes. I somehow hate being checked by the security guys. Of course they are doing it for our own safety, but then terrorists never think the usual way. Another thing I always hated was to buy something that is sold for more than MRP. For the same reason I stopped going to Mayajaal, and I also stopped going to Inox. And then God send me a blessing – http://www.seventymm.com!
I had gone to an exhibition a couple of months back, and there was a stall put by seventymm.com. They waived the registration charges for me, took a refundable deposit of Rs 200, and a monthly charge of Rs 300. And what I get in return is – high quality DVDs everyday at my doorstep. Yes – picked and dropped right in my house every single day!
I love the system they use and follow. They have huge collection of movies in their database. You need to login into their site, and queue some 30 or more movies of your liking, and they will deliver them one by one everyday.
So on the economy front I spend just Rs 10 per movie, and Rs 300 for 30 movies is an amazing deal - otherwise I used to spend some Rs 500 on a single movie in a multiplex. All the DVDs are crystal clear with clear sub titles.
Of course movies are made for big screens, but then at home – I don’t have any fucking stranger sitting next to me fiddling with his sick mobile phone all through the movie. And also I don’t have to tolerate any drunk educated bastards sitting their commenting on the movie.
Well my decision helps the government in a way too. I use less petrol, and keep more liquid cash on hand. And what am I going to do with the money saved? Might invest in a high definition home theatre soon.
Posted by Kenni at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)
October 14, 2008
I felt happy!
One of my college friends is a Sub Inspector in the Tamil Nadu Police Department now. He never had any plans to become one though. He had a good physique, and was kind of athletic too. But these were not the things, which got him selected. He had one important prerequisite, which got him the coveted role - he had Rs 2 lakhs cash ready. To my knowledge in Tamil Nadu none can become the Sub Inspector of police – without paying 2 lakhs as corruption fee. How foolish are we to expect honesty from people who themselves got the post only after corruption?
My friend’s gross salary is close to 10 k and his take home is 30 k. No, he doesn’t go to collect money from the people. In fact the money comes to his table every month. 20 k is his cut, after all the higher officials have had their own cuts. He is completely happy about his job.
I sometimes wonder at the way God functions. There was another guy in our college who was considered to be one of the most notorious among the lot. He was my senior, and I have seen him coming to the college drunk most of the times. He used to abuse girls, and also teachers on their faces. Now he is a Sub Inspector in Chennai.
Not that my friend wasn’t notorious. He was one of the very few guys I knew, who used to brush against women in buses, and also spank women in crowded places. I am not against sex, but I am against exploitation in the name of sex. He would shamelessly say, it is fun, and today he is the savior of law and justice! Funny and yucky at the same time!
Recently he had come to Tiruppur, and asked me if I can meet him. I said fine. I was sure that by this time he would have dropped all the dirtiness he had on his mind once upon a time. He had come with another colleague of his - who was a SI too. They wanted to buy some T-shirts from a particular branded shop. They picked some good ones. After the purchase was done, they wanted to meet the store manager so that they can get huge discounts saying they were police officers.
By noticing their body language, I guessed that the store people were trained into these kinds of situation. The billing person snubbed my friend saying – whoever you are we cannot give any discount without asking the manager. And my friend asked, can we talk to the manager? And she with a smile said, he is busy in a meeting. They waited, and kept asking, and they kept denying. At last they had to buy everything without a single paisa discount. Deep inside I felt really happy about what happened.
There are many beggars in our society wearing the Khakhi uniform, who in fact behave cheaper than the beggars themselves. And if you want to spot one, visit Besant Nagar beach Chennai. You will find them eating sweet corns, drinking juices, and also taking home namkeens all for free!
Posted by Kenni at 09:33 AM | Comments (0)
October 11, 2008
I wanted to say ‘fuck you’!
Every dog has its day, and I think it is mine these days. I got a business call from someone working for http://www.tamilnadu.com recently. He spoke about how big his site was, and how they would love to have me on their site, and how all I will be benefited monetarily. The deal was simple, I have to pay Rs 2000 per year, and they will showcase me on their site. He promised that he would get me many NRI clients (as if without NRIs Indian astrologers will die of starvation), and make my business flourish. I said, I already have many clients, and sometimes I don’t find time to finish their orders on time.
In fact it is sometimes very hard to sell things to people, who care a damn for money and fame. He tried his last card now. “We will get you fame,” he said. And I said, I know when I will become famous…fame will come to me with time…and you need not bother about my fame.” He hung up.
This wasn’t the first call I got. A couple of months back I got a call from bharatmatrimony.com and also sulekha.com. They wanted me to advertise on their site, promising I will get good business, and I said, “I am sorry I am not a businessman. And who has to reach me will reach me anyways.”
Sometimes it gives you immense sadistic pleasure to reject something from people, who rejected you once. Of course I am not Jesus Christ as yet. I don’t forgive people, but then wait patiently for the right moment to screw their happiness. And God willing, I have won most of the human political battles.
When I was having a bad time at Sify, I had approached bharatmatrimony.com with a proposal for astrology portal, which in turn would bring them good revenue. They never bothered – may be they thought astrology won’t bring them as much revenue as unhappy unmarried people would.
And at sulekha.com, after 8 years of content writing and editing experience they gave me a question paper to answer! They wanted me to correct few sentences for grammatical errors, and wanted me to answer few general knowledge questions. They also made me write a small article on some latest headline.
I was desperate for a job, and I had to take the test. But I weren’t desperate I would have surely asked them – “why do you think The Indian Express, and Sify.com recruited me? Do you think they took me because I had a big dick?”
Thankfully I never got my proposal accepted at bharatmatirmony, and thankfully I never got a job at sulekha.com. Now when they call me, I have a ball of a time. The only thing I refrain from telling them on the face is – fuck you!
God Bless All!
Posted by Kenni at 08:20 AM | Comments (0)
October 09, 2008
Do not panic!
I am not an economist. And honestly I don’t understand the difference between a bullish market and a bearish market. But still I think I understand what is coming. When the market touched 19000 points in November 2007, I had predicted that it would come to 10 k to 12 k points soon. And today it is somewhere at 11 k. The simple truth is – it was bad news when it touched 19 k, and it is good news that it has touched 11k.
I don’t understand much of economics. But when my friend called me from Lehman Brothers, saying his company has announced bankruptcy. I said, don’t worry. “you still will have a job as your individual chart doesn’t show joblessness for you. You will only grow on career front.” He was skeptical, but then the latest news is some Japanese firm has come to the Lehman’s rescue. And my friend still has a job, and will have a strong career astrologically.
Yeah, there is an economic slow down, but it isn’t that bad as it looks like or the way the media makes it sound. This is just a temporary phase, which will just last till March 2009 - maximum. And things will be perfectly alright towards the end of year 2009. Nothing has come to an end, and nothing can come to an end. There is enough for people’s need, but of course not for their greed.
So my advice to people who have money is - just keep yourself away from stocks, speculations, and also long-term investments. Keep liquid cash, and from the initial months of year 2009 invest in real estate & property. Don’t buy luxury items on installment basis. And my advice to people who don’t have money - “just celebrate life, as you are much more happier than people who have money.”
Every one is born with an individual destiny, so if your chart is strong for a good career, you will continue to have a job, and will continue to make good money in spite of bad economic conditions. And if your chart isn’t good – then you will be one among the few thousands who are getting sacked from IT companies.
Posted by Kenni at 01:44 PM | Comments (0)