Your Friendly Philosopher & Guide

When a doctor cures a patient, he doesn’t become God. Same way when an astrologer’s prediction comes true – he doesn’t become any Guru or God. It is just that their techniques have worked and they have kind of mastered it – with experience. Of course failures are part of any profession.

People are very vulnerable that way. The moment your prediction comes true, they assign a Godly title to you. They think your words have power, and they forget to analyze that it was their own destiny that was told looking into their horoscope. The progression goes this way –

First - once the prediction comes true, they think an astrologer is always right
Second - they think that all that an astrologer would say will come true
Third – they would want an astrologer to say what they want to hear
Fourth - they would stop asking predictions, and ask only for the blessings

After the 4th stage, the astrologer is so overwhelmed with people’s reaction that he loses his focus and also his path. He stops predicting, and enjoys his Guruhood. Now he keeps blessing people, and people start taking blessings for anything and everything – to make a killing at the stock market, to win the elections, to get cleared of court cases, to get saved from corruption charges, to escape murder charges and what not.

In my personal experience with spirituality and meeting with saintly people and Gurus - I have discovered one important thing that – none can be anyone’s Guru. Your life is your individual journey, and you have to travel through it all alone.

Making someone a Guru is the easiest escape route. You can pour all your worries and psychic garbage on Satya Sai Baba or Sri Sri Ravi Shankar or Juggi Vasudev, and sit at home watching TV thinking your Guru will clean all the shit you splattered in your bathroom. Remember - it is your bathroom and you have to clean it - and there is no escape!

In my case if my prediction has come true for you – it simply means that God has helped you through me. And if my prediction has not come true – it simply means that God has fucked you through me.

Here is an interesting incident. After consulting me once, one of my lady clients wanted me to be her Guru. I said, no. And she insisted. I said fine - reluctantly. On her visit the US she caught me online on Yahoo Messenger . She asked me, Guruji you want something from the US? And I said, get me some sex toys. And that was the last day she called me a Guru.

Most people think that saints are ones who never think or talk about sex. If that were the case all the impotent men, eunuchs and men with erectile dysfunction would have been spiritual Gurus.

I drink and I watch porn - it is just that I prefer God to all those things. So henceforth address me just as Kennedi or Kenni, because I am not anyone’s Guru.