Your Friendly Philosopher & Guide

Any realization comes from personal experience. And I too realized this truth with hard-hitting incidents, and one of them is discussed here. I never understood the difference between friends, colleagues, and peers in a corporate scenario. I thought everyone who talked good to you is your friend, which need not be - at least in the corporate world.

We were some 10 to 12 people who used to have lunch together and we used to have rollicking time everyday. Once I had conducted an Astro show at my last office, and I invited all of them to attend. I specially invited these friends of mine– not in an attempt to make them a believer of astrology, but then just for my moral support. To my dismay only 1 turned up, and rest were ready with their silly reasons the next day. It was a severe blow to me. And I stopped having lunch with them.

Many days of retrospection gave me an insight into human relationships. The first question you need to ask yourself is - are you getting equal returns from a particular relationship? Secondly whether a particular relationship is worth your time and effort? And it could be any relationship for that matter – between you and your friends, between you and your girlfriend, between you and your sibling, and between you and your boss.

If you need good friends, be one they say. So start any relationship with only giving, without expecting anything in return. Later once the relationship has developed to a good extent, wait for a while, and take some time to analyze the relationship.

You picked her up, you dropped her at home, you sponsored her movie tickets, you sponsored her food, you acted as a counselor, and you gave her all the moral support. Now ask yourself - what have you got in return? If it was only the smell of the strong perfume or the strong deodorant she wore, then take my word you can expect her marriage invitation soon.

If at any point you feel that you aren’t getting enough out of a relationship – you either make it clear to the other person involved, or it is always better to cut him/her off completely and exist in solitude. This solitude will help you to evolve and will take you to a different realm of life – where your happiness won’t continue to depend on external factors.

Total detachment is for evolved souls, and for normal souls like us it is all about being a bit selfish every time. Any relationship is a business deal, where in you want to make equal profits – in sadness as well as in happiness. If the deal is not a 50-50 per cent share, it is bound to be doomed sooner or later with a bad note.

So the mantra for a long and strong relationship is - give as much as you can, but don’t stop expecting. Take time to analyze, and if you don’t get anything in return, move out with a good note!