Your Friendly Philosopher & Guide

When electricity goes off at our homes, before lighting the candles we rush to our balconies to see if others are facing the same problem. If yes, then we come back happily to light the candle. Looking at others problems, we become happy automatically thinking we are better off than the others or at least that we are on the same boat. No wonder spiritual people, Gurus, and saints are always glowing with confidence – because they know their problems are meager when compared their disciples’.

Kindly don’t consider this particular blog as my individual complaint against my loving wife, but try to read between the lines….

When married in 1998 I was working on night shifts. I hardly got time with my wife. I would hardly spend only 2-3 hours with her, and as a housewife she used to get damn bored at home staying alone. Her only complaint was – I was not spending enough time with her, rest everything was fine – I would say don’t worry things will change..

In 2000 I moved to Chennai, I was making good amount of money, there were no night shifts, and I used to reach home on time. But this time my wife was not happy with my relationship with a girl colleague of mine. She would always say – don’t talk to her, don’t get close to her, and don’t give her lifts on bike….I would say things will change….

The girl colleague of mine got married in 2002, I quit my 9-5 job, and started of as a full time astrologer from home since 2004. I started being at home all the time, there were no night shifts, there were no girl friends, but this time my wife was not happy with cash inflow…I would say things will change…

After 2 years now, money flow is good, work is good, there are no girl friends, there are no night shifts, but my wife complains – I don’t spend enough time with her!!! I still say things will change…

Last week was indeed the most peaceful one. For 7 days neither did we speak to each other, nor did we see each other’s face living in the same house. Communication happened through children. And honestly I completely lost tract about the cause of the problem.

Marital problems are normal in any marriage, and there are no perfect couples. They have verbal fights, they have physical fights, and the next day they are found together on the bed having wild sex. Hence the first rule of life is not to get panicky, when things go wrong.

When you love someone, you should be ready for hatred too. If you loved your beloved talking sweet nothings to you for hours together, then you should be ready to accept her irritating silence. Always remember that whenever you have relationship problems start to see the pattern, and you will see a common pattern in every fight you had with your spouse…. Learn the lessons and walk ahead…

Married men face a lot of problems in fixing the priority list, which makes them lose control many a times…Here is a ready made list of priority you should stick to have a good marriage …

Give preference in this order –

For Men

1) God
2) Your Parents
3) Career
4) Children
5) Friends
6) Wife

If your parents don’t want you to become a sanyasi, don’t listen to them. If your work wants you to go away from your parents, don’t take up the job. If your children ask you to stay at home, tell them you will buy chocolates while coming from work. If your friends call you when you are playing with your children, don’t pick up the phone. And if your wife doesn’t want you go for a drink at your friend’s place, ignore her….

For Women the preference should be in this way…

1) Husband
2) Children
3) Her parents
4) Your parents
5) God
6) Career
7) Friends

I know there would be 1000s of others permutations combinations for a better marital life. But this is what I strictly try to follow to lead a happy married life.

And today morning when I was meditating about this particular blog and came outside my prayer room my wife was smiling at me. Things were resolved, and we patched up after 7 days of silence…and deep down I know this is not permanent ….things will change…..