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November 24, 2005
The abstract concept called virginity – part 2!
The dictionary says that virgin is a person, immaterial of gender, who has not experienced sexual intercourse. Sex and sexual intercourse have similarities and differences too. Sex has various stages right from holding hands, rubbing skin, kissing, hugging, fondling, caressing, holding genitals, helping each other masturbate, oral pleasures, fingering and many other steps before the final sexual intercourse happens. Sexual intercourse essentially means the final penetration by man into a woman, which leads to orgasm for both. The question of virginity is at stake only at the last stage of sex i.e., during sexual intercourse and till then both men and women play a safe bet – logically!
I have had equal number of boy and girl friends. And out of the whole, immaterial of gender, about 90 per cent of them have had premarital sex. But then if you ask me whether they have had sexual intercourse, then most of them have not. They have gone till few steps in the order mentioned above, or in their own order, but have not had complete sex. Hence we cannot tell for sure from which step premarital sex becomes unacceptable.
Also there are various other factors that constraints the possibility of premarital sex in India. Blessed are those who get the right partner, the right place and the right opportunity to have complete sex with or without strings attached.
To have a complete sexual intercourse is not as easy as we think - the first constraint being unavailability of the right space/place. We have acres and acres of barren land to train military troops to fight wars, but not a single place where people can make love - undisturbed!
Couples meet up in beaches to fondle, in theatres to kiss, hug and caress, and visit most of the remote areas to find whether there is some place which can be used for sex. With our hypocritical attitude about sex, we have polluted India with so much population that we have at least 1 person per square feet.
At our home it is impossible, we have our neighBORES poking their nose right till our kitchen, at friends’ place one of the parents is at home all through the year, at hotels there is constant fear of police raids, and if at all you have enough guts to book a room in a hotel, you should have money, a proof of identity, and also a travel bag!! If all is set right, the last thing you can expect out of life is nonperformance due to anxiety!
The process of getting a person till laying him/her down takes at least 6 months of continuous hard effort. With so many problems attached to a 5 minute pleasure, both men & women so very tired that they decide to get married to each other or someone else to at least have sex with free minds.
I am surely not talking about the 1 or 2 per cent of men and women who due to some psychological problem get up one fine morning and decide that they are going to break their virginity today, just because his/her friend did it yesterday. I am referring to the people who form the core of the Indian society, and who belong to the major chunk.
Here are few counter arguments for few views that were expressed on various websites and blogs
Women who have premarital sex are prostitutes
There is nothing wrong in referring to women who have premarital sex as prostitutes. And mind it ‘prostitute’ is not a derogatory word. According to me sex workers are divine beings who can provide better sexual services than few wives do. Remember if you don’t like food at home, you prefer to eat at hotels.
Even men care about their virginity
Three of my friends went abroad recently. One of them was a Brahmin, one of them was a Muslim, and the 3rd one said he want his wife to be the first person he sleeps with. The first thing they did after arriving in the foreign land was they searched for a striptease club. The first 2 were already married. And this Muslim friend of mine always told me that according to Islam astrology is a sin. But I never knew that Kuran said blessed are those who go to watch a striptease! The third friend who spoke all about his wife being the first, landed up in a massage parlor where chicks give you a complete body massage, and at the end help you shag!
Men who claim that they are virgins are the ones have not got any offers from the opposite sex, till they are forced to marry by their parents. If someone has rejected a beautiful babe, just because he wanted to keep his virginity intact till he gets married – I would prostrate and take his blessings.
Women have more control on sex than men
In 90 per cent of the cases across the world, whenever a man has sex, a woman is involved too – whether it is premarital, marital or postmarital. The rest 10 per cent could be sex with same sex, or sex with animals, or forcible sex. Men don’t have sex with holograms to my knowledge.
Of course women don’t take the initiative most of the times, and men do it and that is how nature has created us. That doesn’t mean women have more control over sexuality.
For women sex is like getting into a bus, which is empty. With so many options open she takes time to decide where to sit. And for men sex is like getting into a bus, which has only one seat empty that too in the last row. He needs to rush to seek it before someone else sits there. Women have more choices to make, while men don’t. Men try to do the best in any available situation hence they are more desperate to have sex than women. That simply doesn’t mean that women don’t care about sex. The real sexuality of women could come to fore if some day all the men in the world decide not to have sex with women for the next 5 years!
Well that’s all for today. Will continue when am back from Tiruppur on Thursday.
Till then Happy Blogging!
Posted by Kenni at November 24, 2005 06:18 PM