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September 26, 2004
Why commit suicide, when you have so many options left?
I was sure it was all over. The mind knew what was coming but the heart refused to accept. I was giving my last best shot and forcing things to happen. Logical conditioning is very hard to be broken as we are trained to try and try until we succeed - which is absolute nonsense. Any man gets the first glimpse of how destiny works when his first girl ditches him. You can’t change a thing in this world. Those last 2 months were the time when I was moving around with a strip of sleeping pills, and was sure that there could not be any life without her!
7 years later - I am married to a nice woman, and also have been blessed with 2 wonderful daughters. Life looks so good today, the future seems damn bright, and I understand how we live for others and not for ourselves. Looking back I feel how dumb I was to have thought about ending my life, only because ONE person in the world didn’t wanted to spend her life with me – a person who probably didn’t deserved my presence.
Once I happened to my wife to name the person who has loved her the most in her school days. She said, “ Saravanan.” I asked what is he doing now, and she said he committed suicide when they were studying in the 9th standard. He committed suicide because he had many personal problems, and also because I had rejected his proposal, she said coolly. I was a bit shocked, and I asked her, don’t you feel guilty about the same, she said why should I feel guilty? I was too young to decide, and also it would be my last option to marry a person like him who is so weak in his character! It was an enlightening experience for me to know that girls care a hair about guys who beg, plead or cry for love. They need a stronger shoulder to take care for them.
People commit suicide for 2 major reasons – 1) debt and 2) failure in relationships. Every individual has to face these 2 situations at least once in their lifetime, and if everyone thought that killing thyself could solve the problem – world’s population would drop by ¼. Here are few things you can imbibe before you take THE drastic decision…
When in debt
Mani Ratnam’s brother and movie producer GV is a classic example of people who die due to the fear of humility. He committed suicide a year back just because he didn’t have enough money to pay back the moneylenders, and he left behind the family to suffer. Very few people know that none could anything to you if you honestly don’t have the money to repay. The maximum that can happen is you will get arrested.
Think that you are freedom fighter for a while, surrender yourself to the police and get arrested. You can stay in the jail for about 10 days come out in bail. And once you are out you are ZERO DEBT! What would the society think about you if you go to the jail? Show them the middle finger!
Failure in relationships
Now that you have decided to end your life don’t stop yourself if you seriously feel that an assortment of protruding flesh is more important than your parents, siblings and friends who need your presence.
Carve this deep into you mind that your death WILL not bring the minutest change in the person who has decided to dump you. She will get married, have babies and will live a long and fruitful life like ‘Rose’ of Titanic, who happily saved her life by hanging onto the wooden plank.
Time is a best healer or I should say time reshuffles your memories perfectly. The next time you think about committing suicide postpone the decision or buzz me at kennedig@yahoo.com
Posted by Kenni at September 26, 2004 07:30 AM