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July 06, 2004
First Time – not as easy as you think!
The customs might differ, but the purpose remains the same. In South, the boy waits for the girl, while in the North the girl waits for the boy. Few laughter and giggle fill the air, and the couple is pushed into a decorated room. The man gulps a glass of milk, if possible shares it with the bride, they come close, the lights are put off, and it is pitch dark - none knows what happens next.
The camera zooms on an early morning sunrise, and newly wed girl is shown blushing as if everything went on perfectly. Wish real life were as simple as what they show on the silver screen.
In fact, first nights are a bit nightmarish for most men. Not because it involves sex with a person, but due to the number of attempts that takes for a man to make it happen.
For a first timer, it at least takes 2-3 attempts to find the exact place where the deep gully is located. And another 2-3 attempts to keep the erection intact with so much of confusion. And yet another 2-3 attempts to fill in the blank perfectly. (These attempts can go on for few days, weeks and months too)
It isn’t as easy as it is shown in XXX movies. The gliding and sliding seems easy for the professionals, but can create havoc for an amateur. It is an art that has to be perfected with time, and the more you practice the better you are positioned.
Men get a bit disappointed about their nonperformance in meeting the most basic necessity of life, but then don’t worry 99 per cent men fail miserably. And I wonder why these failures are kept undercover - may be men shy away to share their first night debacle.
Thankfully both men and women open up to me about their sexual experiments and experiences. Nevertheless one of my clients called me over the phone to ask whether he can visit a brothel today!!!
My Advice for the First Night (only if it is the FIRST TIME for both the persons involved)
*Use a hell lot of lubrication (visit a medical store and get a Johnson & Johnson’s KY jelly)
*Stop immediately when it pains for any of the partner
*Don’t get dejected when attempts fail, it happens to all
*Patience & perseverance are the keys to a Happy Married Life!
*Don’t push too much
*And don’t try any of the KS positions
NOTE FOR WOMEN – If you find your man doing it perfectly the first time, then you can be sure that it isn’t his FIRST TIME!
NOTE FOR MEN – If you have done it perfectly the very first time, leave me a comment saying ‘I did’. Or else I have to ensure that most men who visit my blog failed in their first attempt.
This situation might not hold true if the woman involved is a prostitute!
Posted by Kenni at July 6, 2004 04:59 AM
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